Resenting 

Finding Hope through Spiritual Autobiography

I want to protect the people I love. I want the world we live in to be safe and true. I want my life to give people hope. I’m not sure it will anymore.

Resenting people for their failures is pointless. There's no one to blame. Sure, people have hurt me but it's not their fault that I find myself where I am today. Anyway, I've hurt people too. Life hurts and there's no one to blame. If I don't find some hope I've only got myself to blame. Strangely, there is some hope. For the first time God is my only hope. It's the first time I'm not expecting someone, or something, other than God to be my hope.

I've known God since my childhood. He has been my vital resource in spite of everything that has challenged me. God has been the story inside my story and the energy that has fueled my spiritual autobiography. He has been my reason to share, find hope and encourage others.

What, or who, do you look to for hope? What is the source of true hope? How does God, and the hope He has to give, fit within your story?

Sharing My Journey 

Finding hope through my story:

I ask God, “Why? “What’s the point of everything that has happened?” He tells me that my life matters regardless of what happens. He tells me not to be afraid of the scary places. He tells me that He can use me wherever, and however, He chooses. He says, “Alisa, don’t be afraid of where I will send you. Wherever you go, and whatever happens, I’m going to use you. Your life, no matter what it seems, is not sad. It’s not hopeless. No matter how dark things may seem my light is going to shine. You’re going to shine.”

I wonder if God really knows about me right now. I consider all the evidence. I remember all the ways He has been faithful to me. I see that all the evidence points to Him. It all adds up to a God that I can hang my hope on.

Hope remains. “Hope Remains,” is the message behind my latest creation. That’s the part that matters. What matters is that at my very bottom hope still remains.

You can trust God with the hard realities of your life. Once you let God in He becomes you hope and your reason to tell your story. Finally, your life is full of encouragement to offer others.

Hope Remains
Age 38

Sharing Your Journey

Finding hope through your story:

Spiritual autobiography can include emotions like anger, unforgiveness and resentment. It can include you battles to overcome addictions, anxieties and even the ordinary challenges of our lives. Spiritual autobiography is about all the stuff that happens to us and it's about what God does in spite of our stuff. It's about the condition of our heart and our desire for our heart to change.

Grab a small ball of clay. Hold it in your hands and allow it to reflect the condition of your heart. Consider how the condition of your heart is a reflection of your present spirituality. Would you like a change of heart? What would that change of heart look like? How would you handle the clay differently if you were free of your resentments and anger? Write about these differences in your journal. Invite God to soften your heart. Trust that your heart has a story to share.

Tags For This Journey: find hope, finding hope, spiritual memoir, spiritual autobiography

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Burning Anger
Age 38

 

Who I Really Am
Age 38

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I Open the Door
Age 41

I used to think that I had to stay in certain situations. I didn’t realize that I could make the choice to leave: to open the door. I’d let people direct their anger at me, I’d apologize to fix things and I’d stick around thinking I was the solution to someone else’s problem. Now, on a good day, I realize that I can open the door. I can leave some situations and let them get “solved” by those who need to own the problem. This kind of “leaving” isn’t just freedom for me; it’s also freedom for others. Now we’re all taking control of our own stuff and things sometimes actually do get better without me.

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