3/15/2020 9:25 PM
In a world where so many people are afraid of “different,” it is not surprising that people shame others for honestly being themselves. They say the “different” people believe lies. In a vast universe “different” looks an awful lot like truth to me. I want people to see a universe inside this painting: a universe where everyone is called to display their uniqueness and diversity. I want you to see a world where a person’s honest attempt at authenticity is held high—a place for everyone everywhere. People spend a lot of time thinking about what other people are doing wrong. All I can think is that I can never get it right: that no matter how hard I try to balance grace and truth, I fail. To make peace with this, I’ve decided to pick a side. My side is embracing grace over truth. Finally, it is no longer my job to figure you out. Figuring me out is challenging enough. Now we both get some grace from me. The universe just got a tiny, tiny bit better.
I don’t want to be measured by my lowest moments. Don’t look at the parts of me. Look at me as a whole. Maybe then, I will be enough for you or maybe I won’t be. I’m OK with that. Don’t be fooled. It took me forever to get here. I have been stuck in angst over the expectation that I am somehow responsible for passing judgement on others or risk judgement myself. Every day, I now pick a door. I don’t always pick the right one, but I do my best with the door I pick. It’s the best I can do. Maybe that won’t get me grace from you, but this new place is giving me grace for myself and others. It’s happening in places I’ve never been freed up to give. Praise God that you and I can both just be as we are inside my head. I now understand that the ways we are different are cause for joy and celebration. The universe, I believe, just rejoiced a little with me.
I have walked in an emptiness, confusion, and disorientation for a long, long time: struggling to be at peace with all of this but returning to the same tumultuous place. I have finally crossed over from struggle to new peace. I can feel the line I have crossed over. I can feel the difference. I can feel the shift inside of me. I am so much less afraid of what’s different and so much less afraid of what’s different about me. I look back on this liminal space—this in-between space where I have tossed, turned and hovered for so long. With this retrospect, I now see its value. All those years of incubating have given me fresh eyes. They see something new and truer about you and me, and that is all together very different.
The choices an artist can make to express any one idea are vast. So diverse are the possibilities. I am being cliché yet again, but it is necessary. The variety of ways you can place a stroke of color on a canvas is limitless. No two strokes are the same. So it is with us and the ways we express ourselves. Beyond cliché is the snowflake analogy, but it fits perfectly here. Like us, no two snowflakes are the same. There is profound beauty in diversity.
Held in liminality until my eyes were ready to see all these things more clearly, I had my art to help me do the work that has gotten me here. How rich it is that art is with us as we wait in our liminal spaces. This means we have a compass we can trust to point us in new and right directions. Onward we can move through “The Waiting” and do so with unexpected peace and transformation. We are never alone on the journey when creative process is our companion.
In what ways has creativity and creative process been a part of your journey? How has it helped you see things more clearly? How has it helped you offer yourself and others more grace as you traveled through life? If you have thoughts on how art has helped you find peace, fresh eyes, and transformation, share with us. Or, just come to Journey On Canvas Blog to learn more about the ways your journey is enriched and enhanced by creating something. Art can help you understand and tell your story. It is the good friend of those who seek to better understand their journey.