Sharing My Journey
Life's disappointments and my story:
I make an angel with wings of possibilities and answers. Her wings are made of what could have been. They are also made from what is. Some of the possibilities became answers, praise God, which are helping me. Today, they are more than answers. They are salvation.
My angel's dress is made from torn pages from the book of Job. Job had people who gave him lots of possibilities. They were determined to prove their possibilities. Nothing would make them waver. They had all the “proof” they needed. I have some “Job People” in my life. They still see what they have chosen to see despite my new answers. Nothing will change their minds. If I try to change their minds they fight back. They become irritated and angry. They want to see the old darkness instead of the new light. They see what I feared I was instead of who I now know I am.
I love the way a kaleidoscope gives you tiny parts that work together to make a beautiful whole. The parts in themselves aren’t much to look at. In fact, some of them are quite unattractive when they’re seen apart from the whole. I want to learn to look at people like I look through a kaleidoscope. I’d like to see myself this way too. I want to see the whole of who they are, and who I am, instead of picking at our little parts. I don’t want to be defined by labels. Calling someone a Job Person gives then a limiting label. I need to figure out how to see people in the same way that I’d like to be seen. I need to figure out how to redefine myself and others. I know that’s what God would prefer.
My Job people left me pretty disappointed at times. I had to learn how to find joy despite life'`s disappointments. For as long as I was chained to what my Job people thought, said and did I was not in control of my own life. Instead, my Job people reigned and ruled over my feelings, moods and actions. I wasn't even living my own life: someone else was always living it for me.
There were moments when I felt like the whole world was against me and that there was no hope. My mood only began to shift when I seriously considered God's truth about what was being done to, said, and believed about me. Once I realized that the truth of my Job people was not God's truth about me I began to change. Seeing me through God's eyes, instead of through the eyes of others, shifted my attitudes, feelings and actions. Hope entered into my story, and I began to have a story of hope to share.
Wings of Possibilities