I joined a codependency support group. It’s a good place for me to be, because I need someplace where I can be honest without having to worry about what other people think. Codependent people care about what other people think. There’s a rule at the support group table. What’s said at the table stays at the table. That means I can tell my group “I’m done.” I can be honest about how I’ve lost my joy for living. I’m able to admit that I’ve lost hope. I can also tell them that I’m afraid I’m going to end up mentally ill. The words, “I might have a nervous breakdown,” can be spoken. At the table I won’t be judged, marginalized or spoken about behind my back. It’s one of the few places where my codependency doesn’t have power over me.

The embarrassing truth is that I care relentlessly about what other people think. This isn't so much of a problem when someone kind, compassionate and loving is around, but when I'm around angry or demanding people Opinion becomes my lord. I've been trying to pretend that I don't care about people's opinions as much as I do. I can no longer avoid the truth that people rule my life. Facing the truth is my only chance at real integrity. It's my only chance at a life ruled by God.

Do you care about what others think? Is Opinion your Lord? Do people influence and rule your life? The answers to these questions can be a short assessment for codependency. Caring about what others think, having Opinion be your Lord, and finding that people rule your life are characteristics of codependency. Identifying codependency in your relationships is one of the first steps you can take towards overcoming it. We can all identify codependency in our relationships, overcome the influence codependency has over us and celebrate evidence of codependency recovery together. Denying codependency in our lives leaves us stuck in it. Dealing with codependency is an opportunity to enjoy new freedom in our relationships and in our lives.

Who, or what, rules your life? Where do you need God to take over? How is understanding codependency a key to overcoming what is controlling you? Where does God fit into your recovery? How can you celebrate evidence of recovery in your life and in the lives of others? Consider ways that you can come together with others to get support on your journey. Consider finding a place where you can be honest and open about finding freedom from whatever is holding you back. What are your keys for recovery and how are they a part of your spiritual story?