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Share Experiences: Anxiety Symptoms Ignite a Spiritual Growth Plan

I was a Resident Director on my college campus. It was ironic that I became the Resident Director. Two hundred freshman students lived in the dorm with me. I was supposed to bring them stability, safety and predictability. It was amazing that I managed to do my job so well. I was so messed up: my life loitered with anxiety symptoms. It was a miracle that my life was any good for anyone.


Eventually I learned that I wasn't as troubled as I thought I was. In high school everyone acted like they were perfect. Few people let their troubles be seen. At Pratt people were honest about their lives and they were not afraid to share. People knew all about my troubles but they still came to me with theirs. We shared life honestly. Sometimes, I found that I was the one who was holding things together. This happened even on the days when I felt like I was falling apart. 

Being the Resident Director changed my life. I learned that I didn't have to be perfect to matter. I learned that I could be troubled, sick and hurting and still make a difference in the world. I discovered that God would still use me even though I was broken. 

Spiritual journeys are influenced by many factors. What experiences changed your life and became a source of spiritual development? What experiences changed and shaped your self perception? How has God used you through these experiences, and how have they become a part of your spiritual growth plan? Where do these influences fit within your spiritual autobiography?

 
 
Sharing My Journey
 

Describing a Life Shaping Experience: Surviving With Anxiety Symptoms

Being the R.D., my room has been strategically placed by the freshman boys' community bathroom. I'm supposed to keep my ears open to head off drunken behavior and bathroom brawls. The boys are loud in the bathroom twenty four hours a day. The noise makes sleeping through the night so much harder. 

I'm really tired. I drink the cold medicine that comes in the freshman welcome pack. It makes me tired at first and I fall asleep, but I don't sleep for very long. I wake up a few hours later with my heart racing. I'm feeling sick, I'm exhausted, and I'm on overdrive. It's useless to go back to bed. I'm too revved up.

I turn on a lamp and I work on a painting, I paint myself playing the flute. I wanted to learn how to play the flute so my parents got me one for my birthday. A friend gives me flute lessons in the chapel once a week. Sometimes I play songs from a hymnal. I can't sing very well so the flute is my voice. I try to paint how I feel when I'm playing hymns on my flute. I feel like I'm playing a song just for God and He's watching me. I feel like He likes what He sees.

My Voice Paintings

My Voice
Age 21

 
 
 Journaling
Sharing Your Journey

Determine Your Life Shaping Moments:

Anxiety symptoms, fear, anger and other crippling emotions can thwart spiritual development. These same emotions can change spiritual journeys and become in impetus for spiritual growth. Emotions, good or bad, have their due place in our spiritual autobiographies. And, for most of us, these feelings are connected to experiences that have become a part of our story.

What experiences have changed you the most? Think of your biggest life defining moments and life changing experiences. Write them down in your journal. Rank each event according to the magnitude of its influence. Ask God to guide you as you decide which event has had the greatest impact on you. Think about the feelings that surround this event and list them. Journal about this important experience.

Tags for This Journey: anxiety symptoms,spiritual development,spiritual growth,spiritual journeys

Overcoming Anxiety: One Woman's Journey  -Read Dancing in the Doghouse to Learn More!


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If I Can't, Jesus Can
Age 41

Sometimes I get stuck, and I can’t get out of the place I find myself. If it’s a bad situation, I don’t always realize that I shouldn’t leave. Or, I get over-involved in a problem that doesn’t even belong to me. I shouldn’t stay but I stay. Luckily, Jesus bails me out when I ask Him for help. He shows me what’s mine and what isn’t. He shows me the way out of what I’m knee deep in. Even if I’m over my head in the mire, Jesus pulls me right out. When I can’t open the door, He can.


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